Search Results for: pray

Got Kids? Pray First, Open Mouth Second

Don’t worry about anything. Pray about everything. ~The Bible

It’s been said that the family that prays together, stays together—but do you know just how true that really is? Seriously! A Gallup poll revealed that among married couples who attend church together regularly, the divorce rate is one out of two.  How sad. That’s the same statistic as for marriages anywhere. But get this: among couples who pray together daily, the divorce rate is one out of 1,153. [i] What a difference!

One of the best gifts a couple can give their children (and each other) is the gift of a strong marriage and family life knit together through prayer. Prayer builds unity and intimacy. We become intimate to whom we pray, for whom we pray, and with whom we pray. Prayer is the key to unlocking extraordinary blessings for children and families the way a key unlocks a gate.

Years ago, Doug came up with a slogan for our family that, in our house, prayer should always be “the first response, not a last resort.” I’d go so far to say that prayer has not only been our lifeline to heaven (and sometimes to sanity!), but it’s also been our greatest and most valued parenting tool.

What that’s meant for this mom, specifically, has been to make every effort to pray first, open mouth second. I’ve had to work on it even harder as my kids have grown and become adults.  More often than not, my role is not to fix, not to correct, not to express an opinion … but to pray.  And then step back and trust God. (Yes, hard to do I know. But He always comes through and I’ve learned to trust Him.)

Proverbs 31: 27 says, “She watches over the affairs of her household.” I skipped merrily over that verse for years until one day I just happened to read it at the same time as I was reading elsewhere in the Bible that day. Isaiah 62:6-7 says, “I have posted watchmen on your walls, O Jerusalem; they will never be silent day or night. You who call on the LORD, give yourselves no rest, and give him no rest.”

That jumped out at me. I’m a word person. Both roots of those words—watches and watchman—have similar meanings, “to peer into the distance, observe, watch; to hedge about (as with thorns), guard, protect, attend to”[ii] They can also be translated “lookout” or “doorkeeper.”[iii]

How very cool.  I realized way back then that prayer is one of the most powerful roles a mother can play in her children’s lives. So much more can be accomplished for my kids from my knees than from my mouth! Correction, instruction, suggestions, and advice are all very well and good—and necessary.  But years of experience tell me (and I know many other praying moms who will agree with me) that some of the most powerful breakthroughs I’ve seen with my children have been when I prayed instead of only trying to fix a situation with natural means.

My friend Cindy has a sign posted in her family room, where she can see it every day, that says PRAY BIG. I love it.  I think it’s the perfect mom-slogan. 🙂

Have you PRAYED for your kids today?

This post adapted from my book Prayer-Saturated Kids, by Arlyn Lawrence and Cheryl Sacks, NavPress 2007.


[i] Gallup Poll, 1993

[ii] James Strong, “Strong’s New Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible, Thomas Nelson, Nashville, TN:1995), tsaphah, Strongs #6822, p. 122; shamar, Strongs #8104, p 145.

[iii] The NIV Exhaustive Concordance (Zondervan, Grand Rapids, MI:1990), p. 1598 and 1643.

Holy Land Reflections on Good Friday

Our first glimpse of Jerusalem, March 31st, a gray, drizzly day. I wonder if these skies looked the same for Jesus on the same calendar day, nearly 2,000 years earlier, the day before His Last Supper?

It’s hard to believe that just two weeks ago, Doug and I were in the Holy Land—in person. Since I’ve been home, I discovered something interesting: that we were in Jerusalem, following the paths where Jesus walked, likely on the every same calendar days He did during His Passion Week (April 1-3)! That’s simply mind boggling to me!

I’m still processing my take-aways from the journey. It was definitely moving and thought-provoking on a number of levels, to experience the Holy Land of today with all its historical, spiritual, cultural, and even political facets. In real time, all of that information and emotion comes flying at you at once, and it’s a bit overwhelming to process it there. So, you try to absorb everything you can, take lots of pictures, and then attempt to sort and process it all when you get home, which is what we’re doing!

Today, as I write this, it’s Good Friday, the day we remember Jesus’ crucifixion. I wanted to share a few more of my pictures and impressions (than I originally did on Facebook) from those days we spent visiting the sites of His last days: where He was betrayed, tried, tortured, and executed to be the ultimate sacrificial lamb for mankind. I hope I’m able to pass along the poignant feelings of wonder and personal connection to the events surrounding Jesus’ resurrection and life that I’ve been able to feel in a fresh way because of this trip.

The view from Bethlehem over the Shepherds’ Fields, looking in the direction of Jerusalem, less than five miles away.

It was in these fields that the angels appeared to the shepherds to announce the birth of Jesus. This was not just any baby, and these were not just any shepherds. The shepherds who raised sheep on these hills would have been descended from the tribe of Levi, the genealogical line of priests who would offer the sacrifices in the temple to atone for the people’s sin. The perfect, unblemished lambs that could be purchased for sacrifice at the temple could only be those born within a five-mile radius of Jerusalem, and cared for by Levitical shepherds. How like God to think of every detail . . . that the perfect lamb of God who would take away the sin of the world, once and for all, would fulfill even this intricate criteria to be the Perfect Sacrifice!

The Garden of Gethsemane on the Mount of Olives, where Jesus retreated with His disciples to spend time with the Father before He would be arrested and taken away.

The Church of All Nations is built adjacent to the Garden of Gethsemane and directly over top of the stone on which Jesus agonized the night He was arrested.

At the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus “knelt down and began to pray, saying, “Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me; yet not My will, but Yours be done” (Luke 22:41-42). Ultimately, the Father’s will meant that Jesus would be betrayed by one of His own, and led away to Caiaphas, the High Priest, at night (which was illegal), where He was unjustly accused and tried.

The stone itself. You can reach right over and touch it.

The steps leading down from the house of Caiaphas, the high priest. Jesus walked down these very steps (yes, they are the originals) after His “trial,” on the short walk to Pontius Pilate’s residence for sentencing.

This is the location where Jesus stood before Pontius Pilate; in those days it would have been open air. The stones on the floor, though, are original. Looking down, this was Jesus’ perspective on that day.

Then it was back to Caiaphas’ house, where he was imprisoned in a pit, then brought out to this location for flogging. It was a terrible thing: 39 lashes with a multi-tailed leather whip, studded with sharp stones and bits of glass. He stood on this very floor, where the “Church of the Flagellation” now stands. These stones would have been covered in His blood, shed for us.

The original floor stones at the site of Jesus’ scourging.

 

The engravings are by the Roman soldiers, called “The King’s Game,” which they played with dice to amuse themselves during the proceedings.

Finally, the long procession through the streets of Jerusalem to Golgotha, the site of the crucifixion. There He was nailed and hung and mocked until He surrendered His spirit to God, crying out, “Tetelestai, it is finished!” (John 19:30).

One of the proposed sites of Golgotha, the “Place of the Skull,” where Jesus was crucified outside the city. A recent storm has eroded it further, but if you look carefully from the right vantage point, it really does look like a skull face in the rock!

Then, ” . . . darkness fell over the whole land until the ninth hour, because the sun was obscured; and the veil of the temple was torn in two” (Luke 23:44-45).

The temple in Jerusalem was the center of Jewish religious life, the place where those perfect lambs I mentioned earlier were sacrificed for the sins of the people. A huge, heavy curtain separated the Holy of Holies—the earthly dwelling place of God’s Presence—from the rest of the temple. This signified that man was separated from God by sin. Only the high priest was permitted to pass beyond this veil once each year to enter into God’s Presence for all of Israel and make atonement for their sins. It was nearly 60 feet high and about four inches thick, fashioned from blue, purple, and scarlet material and fine twisted linen.

The size and thickness of the veil make the events occurring at the moment of Jesus’ death even more momentous. This was no human act! It was the very hand of God.

By the shedding of His blood and the surrender of His own life, Jesus, the perfect sacrificial lamb, provided a sufficient atonement for the sins of all of us. The tearing of the veil let us all know that now the way into the Holy of Holies was open for all people, for all time, both Jew and Gentile. Through Jesus, we can enter into the Holy of Holies every day: “We have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body” (Hebrews 10:19-20).

Now, back home, after all I’ve seen, I’m more convinced than ever of the great gift that has been given to us through Jesus’ death: that we can draw near to God, ourselves, simply by receiving in faith what He did for us.

Today, Good Friday, we remember that sacrifice.  Thank You, Jesus. Thank You, thank You, thank You.

(c) 2019 Arlyn J. Lawrence. All Rights Reserved.

If you would like to read about all this yourself, the biblical account can be found in the New Testament of the Bible in Luke 23-24.

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NEW! I’m excited to announce that I am re-publishing the prayers cards I wrote years ago for NavPress. I’ve been receiving requests for them and have been unable to fulfill them as they were out of print for several years.  Two are now available and more will follow.  Stay tuned! Please use the contact form or comment with your email address and I will connect with you to fulfill your order. Still working on getting them on Amazon. 🙂

 

Praying for My Neighborhood

by Arlyn Lawrence

Equip kids to pray for God to work in their neighborhoods, using God’s Word and their very own prayers!

$7.50/ per pack of 20 cards, + shipping

 

Scriptural Prayers for the Next Generation

by Arlyn Lawrence

Powerful scriptures to help you pray for the young people in your life.

$10.00/ per pack of 50, + shipping

 

 

 

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This entry was posted on October 13, 2018, in .

Journey to the Cross — A Lenten Devotional

StainedGlassWindow You can follow this link below to the first installment of a daily Lenten Devotional from my friend Cynthia Bezek. It’s poignant, inspirational, and timely. I definitely think giving up being served is much more impactful (to myself and others) than giving up coffee or chocolate! I am looking forward to following along with Cynthia’s devotionals this Lent. Maybe you will want to, too. Journey to the Cross–February 18. Photo courtesy of digidreamgrafix and FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Parenting Is a Team Sport

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Last Valentine’s Day, the parents of our teenage daughter’s best friend took the two of them, and a third friend, out to a fancy restaurant. The dad gave the girls pretty rings and a pep talk about their priceless worth and the importance of loving and respecting themselves. He had contacted Doug and me earlier to ask our permission and we happily consented.  After all, he was reinforcing something we felt strongly about and we were glad for Hillary to hear it from more than just us.

Doug and I joke all the time that parenting is a “team sport”—and our team extends beyond ourselves as Mom and Dad. Some experts believe the magic number is five—that every teen needs at least five adult voices in his or her life that will reinforce positive values and a healthy self-image. For our kids, these voices have included:

  • their grandparents and other extended family members
  • family friends
  • youth group leaders/mentors
  • teachers and coaches
  • parents of some of their friends

It’s been rewarding to see the different perspectives and qualities these other “voices” have contributed, especially at times when Mom and Dad were a little less popular! They offered wisdom in diverse areas like:

  • work ethic
  • integrity
  • perseverance and self-discipline
  • relationships
  • financial management
  • spiritual life (faith, encouragement, prayer)
  • practical skills like construction, painting, cooking, and car repair
  • the value of family
  • aspirations for college and a successful career
  • modeling a lifelong marriage

Do you have the benefit of other influences in your teen’s life that will tell him the same things you would? The unique value of other adults in our teens’ lives is not just the wisdom they offer, but the fact that they are listened to. So, if our voices are temporarily devalued and our influence seems to be waning, we can recruit others to “shore us up.” Plus, sometimes other adults offer unique perspectives and insights that we as parents simply lack.

For example, when one of our kids was going through a rough patch in high school, his track coach stepped in and brought some much needed perspective, encouragement, and accountability. This coach was also our son’s AP Psychology teacher. Because of that expertise, he was able to offer him unique insights that spoke directly and objectively to his logical nature, helping him better understand himself and his reactions. It ended up being a win on a number of levels.

Guaranteed: your children will stumble here and there as they make great strides. Sometimes, they will want you there to pick them up, dust them off and set them straight again. Other times, they’ll prefer you keep your distance and let them handle it. In these instances, having those important third part voices in place will be great backup support.

If your teen is having a tough time, who in your life could become an asset for the situation? It always pays to know, and to keep them in your “hip pocket” just in case!

What do you think about the idea that “parenting is a team sport?” Who are other adults that you would consider to be on your “team?” If you need to shore this up, who are some likely candidates?

 

This post was originally posted on http://www.lifesmartblog.com and adapted from the soon-to-be-released Parenting for the Launch: Raising Teens to Succeed in the Real World (co-authored by Dennis Trittin & Arlyn Lawrence, LifeSmart Publishing).

 

Time for a Time Out

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When my kids were little, when I felt overwhelmed and pressured I would go into the bathroom and lock the door, just to be alone. As they pounded on the door, demanding to know why I was taking SO LONG, I would offer the excuse, “Mommy just has an upset tummy …” (small totally understandable white lie, right?).

It’s been a lot of years since then but the need to be alone once in a while persists. But the bathroom as a location for a personal retreat just doesn’t cut it anymore. 🙂

Even though I am legitimately a people person, “alone” is where I do my best thinking, praying, reflecting, producing, and reprogramming. And boy, did I need it this month! So earlier this week I took myself on a little personal retreat (thank you to my husband and daughter who were so gracious to get along just fine without me for a few days!).

We have access to a condo at Mt. Hood, Oregon, a three-hour drive from our home. It was me, my computer, a few books and magazines, and a knitting project for my soon-to-be-born granddaughter. Long walks in the woods. A trip to the snow. Three days with no appointments with anyone other than God. It was glorious.

This was the path to the river, right outside my doorstep:

OregonRetreat-5

I sure don’t have these moments on a daily basis! The refreshment to the soul is priceless. I took smooth stones from the river, wrote my kids’ names on them with Sharpie marker, and brought them home to keep in a dish on my desk for little prayer reminders and a memento of my retreat.

OregonRetreat-4

I drove a half-hour to the Timberline Lodge on Mt. Hood where I parked myself at what was obviously an anointed desk near the window (See top picture above; I can’t believe I caught this image with just my phone!) to work and look out at the snow. I took work with me because part of my purpose was to FOCUS … and to get some traction on a few editing projects I was struggling to stay on top of at home. It was SO MUCH MORE PLEASANT in this inspiring environment!

 

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It was surprising to me, how productive I was, and yet how refreshed and re-invigorated, on my little “working personal retreat.” I did the things “I” wanted to do. Not having the TV on (as it often is in my house when the family is around) was peace to my nerves. Spending some time in prayer, talking with God about my family, my work, and some friends who are going through hard times. Listening to classical music and working on a knitting project or perusing cooking magazines and planning my holiday baking and menus. Swimming laps in the cold air at the end of each day, in a heated pool with steam rising into the dark autumn sky. Wow, I actually liked spending time with … me!

The last day of my retreat I received an email in my inbox from a friend whose blog that day just happened to be why we need personal retreats from time to time!  It’s well-worth a read. And, if prayer is what you want to focus on, on your own retreat, my friend Cynthia Bezek has written a book called Come Away with Me that will help you do it. She has certainly been an inspiration to me in that department.

I am home again and back to reality, feeling on top of things and much refreshed. I think I’m much better for my little “time out,” and I hope my family agrees!

 

 

 

 

Care Packages for Our College Kids

I was delighted when my friend Angie emailed me and some other mothers of freshmen college students, and suggested we get together to make care packages for our kids.

Each mom would bring one item and a note of encouragement for each student. Angie would pick up Priority Mail boxes at the Post Office and we’d get together for coffee to put the packages together assembly-line style. What a great idea!

It was a wonderful time!  Here’s what it looked like:

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These were my contribution.  I gave the girls fancy bobby pins, note cards, and a Butter Finger, and the boys got fake eyebrows (it was the week before Halloween) and Milk Duds.

collegecare-3I put them in cute bags I found at Target, with little notes attached. On the  girls’ notes I wrote  the Scripture, “The Lord your God is with you,” (Zephaniah 3:17), and on the boys’ notes I wrote Proverbs 15:13, “A happy heart makes the face cheerful”–keep smiling!

collegecare-4We lined up the boxes and everyone dropped their items in each. Here is Jane putting in her contributions.

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It was a lot of fun!

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Susan brought fun and fuzzy socks.

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We took time to pray together for our kids and sent the boxes off with love and blessings.

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Everyone took their own boxes to put in the mail.

I hope our kids realize how blessed they are to have such a wonderful community of moms supporting them!

After the Launch: Finding Your New Normal

emptynest

It’s September—back to school month! But, for moms of college students, particularly freshmen (or moms whose kids have joined the military), “back-to-school” has a different spin on it. Instead of seeing their children off to high school in the morning and anticipating their return at the end of the day, a lot of moms in my circle of friends (myself included) are right now saying “good-bye” to their kids for what might be months on end.

          It’s exciting for the kids—who are off on a new adventure, and the start of the rest of their life. But it doesn’t always seem as exciting for Mom and Dad, who are left with an empty spot at the dinner table and a person missing from their household. I have heard from a lot of moms in particular lately who are really struggling with this.

          My husband is the youngest of six children, and I remember my late mother-in-law having a tough time when he left for Marine Corps boot camp at age 18. In his haste, he forgot some record albums, leaving them scattered on the floor by the stereo, and a pair of his shoes in the middle of the family room floor. I think she left them there for at least three months! Bless her heart; she wasn’t quite ready to admit her nest was really empty.

          I have launched four of my five children (most recently Tim, who is a freshman at Washington State University this year), so I understand this! I thought about my mother-in-law when it took me a couple of weeks after he left to go into Tim’s room and change the sheets on his bed, clean out his clutter, and make the room neat enough to use as a guest room when the occasion arises. I could relate a bit to how she must have felt, especially considering that Doug was her last to leave the nest.

          There are a lot of ways we moms can react to our emptying nest. We can celebrate the season and grow joyfully into our new role as parents of adult children, or we can mourn the loss of the old season and try to hang on to the little people our children used to be—and to our role as their mommies. I see women go both ways.

          Having a child leave home can produce feelings of sadness in both dads and moms, but it’s generally moms who feel it most. More often than not (and I realize there are exceptions) it is mothers who are the front line nurturers. Whether we work outside the home or not, we still tend to be the primary day-to-day caregivers in the first 18 years. Because of this, we are the ones who often experience the strongest sense of loss.

          In Parenting for the Launch (to be released late October), I share some things moms can do to help navigate (and enjoy!) this “new normal.” Here are a few of them:

  • Find some positives about the new situation and actively take advantage of them. Do you now have an empty bedroom you can redecorate and turn into another kind of useful space? Do you have more time in your schedule now that you can use to go back to school, start or resurrect a career, or volunteer?
  • Build new friendships or renew old ones. The ability to spend more time with friends is a great benefit of your transition from full-time parent to parent-with-kids-launched.
  • Spend some more time with your husband (when was the last time you went on a real date?)  
  • DON’T inundate your child with calls, texts, or Facebook messages. And, don’t let yourself feel the loss all over again if your child fails to reply as frequently as he or she once did to your calls or texts. DO schedule regular phone or Skype calls (decide these in advance). Treat his or her time with respect, as you would any other adult in your life.
  • Revisit, or maybe learn for the first time, the power of prayer. When you are no longer the one caring for, reminding, protecting, and encouraging your now-adult child on a daily basis, you can entrust them to the hands of One who can. I believe prayer is the biggest and best thing we can do for our kids … to put them daily before God and ask for His love, wisdom, direction, and protection over their lives.

          I tell Hillary, our youngest, how great it’s going to be for her this year as an only child, because now she will have her parents’ undivided attention, to focus on her every need (and every move). So, why does she run screaming from the room when I tell her that? 

          (Don’t worry; I’m just kidding, Hill.) 🙂

How have you handled “the launch?” What has been your experience? Please share your stories and encouragement; there are other moms who would like to hear from you!

A Jaunt in Jane Austen Country

Peter and Caroline have lent us their car, so today we drove to Winchester to visit our friends Tim and Pippa. We’ve known them nearly eight years now and, although we’re separated by both an ocean and a continent–and only see each other about once at year (if we’re lucky)–they are among our dearest friends. We always seem to pick up right where we left off.

We all traipsed into into town from their house, dodging raindrops, and Tim suggested we go into the Winchester Cathedral to `’have a pray`’ and get out of the rain.  A choir of school children was singing as we entered,  their lovely voices ringing through the centuries-old cathedral. We found ourselves a side chapel in which to sit and pray for one another—specifically for our kids, as we often do when we’re together. It’s such a poignant feeling to be praying in a place believers have looked for and experienced God for centuries, and so easy to feel connected to history here.

Speaking of history, this place is full of it. Jane Austen (who wrote Pride and Predjudice and is my favorite author) was buried below the cathedral. She lived most of her life in Hampshire, and died right here in Winchester. Her gravestone is set in the floor and reads:

In memory of Jane Austen, youngest daughter of the late Rev. George Austen, formerly Rector of Steventon in this county, who departed this life on the 18th of July, 1817, aged 41, after a long illness, supported by the patience and the hopes of a Christian. The benevolence of her heart, the sweetness of her temperament, the extraordinary endowments of her mind obtained the regard of all who knew her and the warmest love of her intimate connections.

Their grief is in proportion to their affections. They know their loss to be irreparable but in their deepest affliction they are comforted by a firm though humble hope that her charity, devotion, faith and purity have rendered her soul acceptable in the sight of her Redeemer.

(On past visits to Hampshire I’ve dragged Doug around to every Jane Austen memorial in the county. He’s such a good sport.)


On our way out the door we stopped and asked a posh-looking older gentleman to take our picture together. We lined up and as he raised the camera to snap the photo, he quipped in his upper crust British accent, “Think about sex!” Of course it was the last thing we expected to hear from him so we all nearly died laughing, which is why you see us all cracking up like a bunch of teenagers  🙂

I Woke up in Woking

Back in the UK and so happy to be here!

 

We arrived at 6:30 a.m. to a bit of a soggy, muggy day. I grabbed a quick nap and then went on a run into town to meet a couple of friends for coffee.  Was I really in Gig Harbor only yesterday?

 

Lots of construction going on in the town square in Woking these days. It’s looking beautiful and oh-so-modern … then right around the corner I run into a street of row shops that looks like a scene from a Dickens novel. I love that about England.

 

Running past lovely manor homes and laurel hedges, holly with morning glory pouring out of it, a house called “Pooh Corner” (all the houses have names here)… past the football (soccer) field and the neighborhood pub (can’t wait for fish and chips and STICKY TOFFEE PUDDING) … have I mentioned how much I love England?

 

This is my sixth trip to the U.K., so it’s kind of becoming a home away from home, of sorts.  We absolutely love it here: the people, the sights. The culture and history. The heart and spirit.

 

It’s hard to say if that’s just coincidence and personal affinity, or because we both have roots here.  Doug’s grandfather was born in Devon, my great-grandparents in Hampshire and Scotland. I find it kind of a surreal (but very nice feeling) to go back to where our “people” came from.

 

That’s why I love it that God would bring Doug and me around full circle, back to the area our own grandparents and great-grandparents left almost a hundred years ago. Not just to vacation, but to serve. Not just to teach, but to learn.  Not just to work, but to enjoy authentic friendships and Kingdom community.

 

We’re really looking forward to being part of the Prayer-Saturated Life conference at ChristChurch Woking next weekend, June 29-30 in Woking, Surrey.  UK friends, if you’re around and available, please join us!

 

It’s going to be a full ten days. I’ll post some pics and blog entries and share some of our experiences, observations, and reflections.  Glad to share the journey and keep you posted! 🙂